Thoughts from a friend / Doris Tatgenhorst (Family friend )Read >>
Thoughts from a friend / Doris Tatgenhorst (Family friend )
Good morning Sweet Paige,
Think about you all the time and am so sad that you had too leave your Family and Friends at a time when you should be on top of the world with a great life a head of you.
You have done more in your 17 years than most of us do in a life time and are still doing it. It has brought a community together and I know you are up in heaven guiding your sister and brother and marveling in the way they are turning out. We know you are doing your part to guide them from above.
You have the most special family and I'm sure you know that. We love them with all our hearts and miss you like crazy.
Give them the strength that they give everyone else that needs a comforting thought or a helping hand. they are always there when you need them. This is why you turned out to be such a wonderful person and friend to everyone and why even a year and a half after your passing you are honored evey day on this web site by your friends and family. We love and miss you every day Paige but we know you are near we feel you and see you by little things that happen .
Tonight was Sierra's Sadie Hawkins Dance. Wow! 7th grade. I remember your middle school Sadies.
You wouldn't believe what a beautiful young lady she is becoming. When I was helping her get ready I kept thinking that you should be here with us watching her get ready. Probably making fun of her and stressing her out even more than I was. lol She could really use a big sis right now. So many changes at this age. Watch over her!
High School [11-12-08] / Wes Underwood
Today in English 9 i was looking through the signature log in one of the books, "Night". I saw your name.. I couldnt speak, then i was like woah, this is sorta cool. its HER writing. Oh and it was dated '05.. If my math is right it the end of your freshman year would have been 2005. Well i thoguht it was neat and i wanted to share it with you, your family, and all of the people that read these posts. Well i gotta go.. Bye. Close
I have said it over and over again how much I miss your friends. Today was a good day. Alex and Danielle stopped by for a few hours and caught me up on all the gossip. lol
Then Derek J. stopped over and stayed and ate dinner with us. We had a nice visit with him also. Of course him and Rich were talking alot of football.
Katie and Luke were here a few nights ago. I see them pretty regular. Since Katie is our "dog sitter". You would really hate that job now with all of the dogs that we have. lol You were never real big on all of this with the dogs anyway.
I love seeing your friends. I'm very fortunate that they still come around. I hope that they always keep in touch. Just the fact that they take time out of their weekends home from college to stop and see us means a ton to us. I get to talk to them some on the computer but it isn't the same as when I actually get to see them.
Everytime one of them are here we talk about you. Alex and Danielle watched the video that Corinne had on her camera of you. They got a good laugh out of that!
I always sit and wonder what you would be doing right now. It is so unfair that you were taken so soon! Stolen right away from us! Everyone misses you soooo much honey!
I'm getting alot of phone calls also from people saying they are going to bring desserts for the Pasta dinner that we are having. So many people still think of you on a daily basis.
I love and miss you so much baby! I would do anything to have everything back to the way it was before. My life will never be the same! I'm suppose to move on with the new normal.....well I hate the new normal!!!
Missing you / Andrea (Friend)
Girl I miss you so much! I can't even explain it! It doesn't seem fair that I'm at college and your not having the time of your life along with the rest of us.
I just miss you so much!!! Love always!
Andrea Close
Say a prayer for Doris Tatgenhorst! / Dana (Mom)Read >>
I know that this website reaches out to at least 100 people each day and I would like to ask a favor of everyone.
A very special woman in my life Doris Tatgenhorst is going in for surgery tomorrow. She is having a double mastectomy.
She and her family has been like our family my whole life. I have also taken alot of abuse from all of them also over the years! lol You all know what you have done to me through the years! Mark! Bobby!
Please say a prayer for Doris tonight and add her to your church prayer lists. If anyone can beat this it is Doris!
Thank you so much and God Bless you Doris!!
She does have a Care Page and you can log in at this address to see updates. Just type in her name to search. www.carepages.com If you didn't have a password when Paige had a care page you may have to create one first.
I MISS YOU PAIGE / Angelica Scarabino (Friends)Read >>
I MISS YOU PAIGE / Angelica Scarabino (Friends)
Hey Paige,
I really really miss you. I wish you were still here to see me and shane on our basketball team together, and go eat at Crickster's after we were done. You are so pretty! I love your hair!
16 months later.....it is hard to believe that it has been 16 months already. It is so hard to explain though. Doesn't seem like it could have been 16 months since you left us but it feels like years and years since I have seen you, talked to you and hugged you.
Oh what I wouldn't give to sit and talk with you about your everyday events. All of the things that parents take for granted. Never realizing how precious every moment with their child is! How many times I was driving down the road over the years of your life and you were rattling on about someone or something. I would catch myself thinking about what I was going to make for dinner or what I had to do the next day. Once in a while you would call me out on it and say "Mom, you weren't even listening to me". Then I would say, "Yes I was." Of course then you would make me repeat the last part of it. lol You would get mad because even though I was starting to think of something that I had to do I could still repeat it. I just wish that I would have listened to every single thing that you ever said with my undivided attention. I would love to remember every word that you ever spoke to me over the years. Good and bad. lol
I love and miss you so much! I'm getting real tired of waiting on another dream! Dreams and memories are the only thing that I have left of you. Dreams make me feel closer to you. They are not enough but I don't have any choice! I feel my memories of you fading sometimes and that scares the heck out of me!! I would love to find a video of you laughing! I miss your laugh and sick sense of humor so much!
Hey babygurl i havent been able to write you with school and everything but everytime i come home from school i come straight to see you and Amanda. I Love comin and talkin to you i always know your listening. i kno we didnt get to go to school together but i so w ish you were here to go through all this stuff with us. i miss you so much i think about you all the time. Not a day goes by that i dnt think abou you. i regret not hanging out with you as much as we use to. the thing i think about the most is when i saw you at sheetz you were tellin me about kris and stuff and we planned to start hanging out like we use to. i still wish till this day that i would have just grabbed you and hugged you and never let go. that was the last time i saw or talked to you. I Miss you so Much and i never will 4get you. You will always be with me no matter what. O i saw Miggie at Bob Evans i yelled for her and she kept lookin around to see who was yellin for her..lol..i gave her a hug and talked for a while. It made me think about how we use to ride the little quad up the drive way 2 go see her..lol..that thing was like baby size. o well we still had fun on it. haha. we always had fun. but i will never forget the time that i stayed when i was like 7 and i wanted to go home bc i couldnt sleep and your mom told me i could never come stay again if i went home..lol.. i remember that day like it was yesterday..lol. I Love you Gurl and miss you so much. See you sometime on the other side baby gurl.
Karlee turned six, we had to postpone her party because she was sick this weekend. She was feeling better Sunday, so we baked a cake (she was in charge of decorating) and had dinner. Family dinners are not the same without you, when we set the table it has one less and that is not fair.
Karlee and I were watching videos from when she was about 2 or 3 yrs. old. We were laughing because Sierra was telling her to pick on you and you were picking on her, well you were singing, so I guess you were picking on all of us!!!! Sorry Paige but you could sing about as well as I do!!!! Now we know where it all started, Sierra!!! LOL Karlee said her wish for her birthday was that no one would ever get sick and no one would ever die!!! She misses playing (fighting) with you. She likes school and is doing very well. She got student of the month for September.... YES you would be calling her a nerd!! Every day I ask what did you learn in school today? She says, "stuff I already know"!!
It seems you have been around lately?? Our alarm clocks were set 10 minutes fast and Pappy's car alarm went off at 3:30AM and my screensaver was mysteriously changed over night. Eric typed "Eric is #1" on the screensaver and thought I changed it, I didn't, but it is definetly something you would have done, if you did it, Thanks it was pretty funny!!! He still thinks I did it, but I didn't!!
Your mom and Miggie bought Karlee an iPod for her birthday. Eric was trying to download music and every song from our library went on it and most of the songs were from you. We are now trying to edit because some of your music is not good for a 6 year old!!!! Thanks Paige, she has now learned a few new words!!! I am sure you were laughing!!
Halloween is almost here, I keep thinking about you dressing like Wonder Woman. You were beautiful. I remember finding that costume, when I called you to ask if you wanted it you said "Who is Wonder Woman?" I told you that you looked like her and I would teach you how to deflect bullets with your bracelets lol.
Paige I miss you SO MUCH!!! Our family will never be the same after losing you!!!
Thinking about you Paige. / Richelle Miller (Friend...)Read >>
Thinking about you Paige. / Richelle Miller (Friend...)
Paige Marie,
Hey sweetheart! Everytime I come to your page there is always something new on here. All your pictures are beautiful. Its still so unfair that this all happened. Even though it has been a year I still don't see this as real.. I just wish I could wake up from a dream and you be here with us..
God really does take the best. Hes lucky to have someone as special as you. I just wish he could have waited 90 more years. I bought your new hoody. The picture of you is my favorite. You just looked like you was having a wonderful birthday. Ashmane it was your last...
Deep down in my heart I know I will get to see you again and pick up right where we left off! I really miss you so much Paige!!!!
Ohh, its been soooo long since I have wrote you and im so sorry about that. With school and my tests and midterm coming up, its been hectic. I apologize again. I saw your mom about 2 weeks ago when I got your sweatshirt, which btw, i wear all the time. =] I love seeing your mom. Its always nice talking to her, makes me feel closer to you in a way. Sierra is growing up and is getting prettier and prettier each time i see her. She reminds me so much of you. With the way she acts and says things, it makes me smile. Its like you taught her how to be exactly like you, haha. I saw on here where your phone was being completely shut off and it made me sad, but im glad your mom put your voicemail on here because I love hearing your voice. Its the only way any of us can hear it anymore. I guess it puts a ease to me and makes me happy to hear you. Even though its something as simple as your voicemail, its still you. I still cant believe its been over a year since you left us, it still doesnt feel real all the time. Sometimes its as if im dreaming or just imagining all this. Like its really not true at all. Then reality of course sinks back in and i realize you really are gone. I don't think the pain of you being gone will ever subside, not a hundred years from now. All the time in the world couldnt heal our wounds and dry our tears up completely. Its just not possible.
Being down here at West Liberty, I feel far from you. I know your with me though because I see butterflies everywhere I go. Even now I still do. It makes me smile and I always look up to the sky, its my way of saying hey paige. Its my way of saying I know your with me and makes me happy. Ohh, i told you about the girl I saw here that looked exactly like you, hair an all and even talkd like you, well, get this, i've never seen her again. I look all the time when im out walking or going to class, but nothing. I think maybe it was a sign? I dont know. the girl smiled at me but just kept walking out the doors and down the steps. Maybe it was a sign to let me know you really are near. Idk? I hope so.
Just know that I miss you so much and each day is only a step closer to seeing you again. I'll never forget you, i keep you close to my heart. I love you so much beautiful.
Still a big hole for many... / Penny (Friend)Read >>
Still a big hole for many... / Penny (Friend)
Hey Paige,
It still doesn't seem possible that you have been gone over a year. It almost seems as if time has been standing still and the pain doesn't seem to get much better. Listening to you voice from your cell phone crushed me. I hadn't heard you talk in so long that I forgot what your voice sounded like. To hear it again has put me right back to a year ago when this was all still so fresh. I can't believe I'll never hear your voice again. The sarcasm that only you could have. It devastates me to know that your Mom, Aunt Traci, Shane, Sierra and Rich (and your whole family) have to feel this kind of pain. I look at my two babies and think what life would be like (the dreaded what if). It is a pain I just can't wrap my mind or my heart around. I miss you, but I miss you so much more for your family (especially your Mom). Good night sweet Paige Marie.
Tonight Sierra's volleyball team had their game at the high school. I was standing in the hall waiting for the game to start and happened to look up on the wall in the lunch room. They have all the classes individual senior pictures hanging on the walls there from every graduating class since the school first opened. I looked up and saw the Class of 2008. It made me sick knowing that you should have had your senior picture in that frame with the rest of your class. I hesitated and then walked over there to look at everyone's pictures. I walked over and looked up at it and the first thing that I saw was your picture. WOW! I didn't expect to see that. They used the picture of you from the Prom that I used on your page in the yearbook. The black and white one. It stands out so much because it is the only black and white one. It just happens to be right at the top in the center under the class year. I was so shocked! I'm so happy that it is there but it really hit me hard. I was trying to keep it together because alot of the parents were around.
It amazes me daily that so many people still think of you. Especially the kids. Who thought to put your picture in that frame?? Probably one of your friends on the yearbook staff. It just amazes me that these kids have moved on with their lives but still take time to visit this website and the cemetery, visit, text and call me. We put that pumpkin there at the cemetery and it is filled with notes to you from everyone that still visits.
I miss you so much baby! This still hurts so much everyday. I still cry everyday and think of you every second. I couldn't have ever imagined how much I would miss you honey! When you were lying there in the hospital and we were talking to you about turning everything off. I kept telling myself that I could get through this. That this was the right thing to do for your sake. I had no idea how much pain that I would be in and still be in! I just knew how sick I was and the feeling of fear the whole week at the hospital. The roller coaster ride that we were on all week. That fear was almost as bad as the grief that I feel daily! When I think back to the hospital that feeling comes right back to my stomach like someone has kicked me in the gut. I hate thinking about that time but I do everyday! I hate this so much!!!!!!
I love you honey!
Mom
I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALWAYS REMEMBERING PAIGE EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME!!!!! THANK YOU!! She was very unforgettable! That crazy laugh and sense of humor. If anyone has her laughing on a video please get a hold of me. I would love to put it on here.
Insane/ Kasi Marie (Friend)
Paige, it absolutely does not seem like it's even possible for you to have been gone over a year. I was looking at pictures and i saw halie had added a new picture to her myspace. It was of her n amanda..and my first thought was 'awe, they went skiing i want to go' then i realized.. wait, that's an old picture. For an instant, it felt as if the both of you were still with us. And in many ways, you are, totally and completely! All i keep thinking is, my boyfriend, he's been gone for over a month now, but he's just in italy for the military, and he'll be gone until december. It just makes me wish that in a few months, you two will show up, and just go on with lives where they were left off. As if you were only gone for a period of time. Basically, i miss you, dearly, the both of you. As well as the rest of my lost loved ones! Close
I think of Paige on a daily basis or you could probably say an hourly basis!! It seems as though the pain gets more intense as time goes on...time, no matter how long...doesn't heal this horrible pain!! Thinking of all that our babies missed out on just breaks my heart in two! How devastating life can be...it makes me sick! Hearing Paige's voice is so soo hard...I've never called her voice mail although the kids have...again it makes me sick! People don't realize just how cruel and unfair life can really be...one minute (literally) you have a beautiful young girl, so happy, active, carefree and full of life...then the next minute you are making funeral arrangements, walking around in a complete daze and wondering what happened to your precious baby and you life!! Life is no longer normal for me as I'm sure it isn't for you...nor will it ever be! Our normal is now a life full constant heartache and wonderings about what could have been, smiling on the outside for people while our heart is broken on the inside, laughing on the outside for people when we're crying on the inside...a life full of pretending! I never could have imagined that we and our babies would go through such a horrible ordeal...God, how I wish we could change things!!
I'm amazed at some of the things that have been happening since I lost Amanda...at first nothing happened really and I had alot of doubts...but as I read your last tribute...it really made me think. The alarm going off at significant times...thats really amazing! Some could say its coincidence but when things happen over and over at important moments we've got to believe that our babies are sending us comfort!! Lately, so many things have been happening with Amanda...myspace songs changing to her favorite Fall, cell phones calling her number automatically or having her name come up on speed dial automatically...I had doubts...oh they accidently hit the wrong button, but then it happened to me and I was amazed!!! I knew without a doubt that I didn't accidently hit the wrong button...I immediately looked up and said "thanks babe" I'm sorry I doubted you!! Our girls are truly special, beautiful, sincere and strong...no doubt they are together and I'm sure there's no limit to what they will be able to accomplish for those whom they love!! I believe they are always around us...know all that goes on and are trying constantly to let us know that!!! They are as strong willed and special in heaven as they were here on earth...and just look how amazingly special they were here on Earth. They still will be able to accomplish great things by letting us know they are watching over those who truly love them!!!!
Today we went to pick up your Senior yearbook.....of course I made Rich go in and pick it up. I hate going into that school anymore. Even though you wouldn't be there this year. There are so many memories in that school of you. Not to mention I would have to walk by the wall that has all of the pictures of lost classmates where your picture hangs. I still can't believe that my baby is hanging on that wall.
There is a whole page that they put in the yearbook in memory of you. It is beautiful. They even put a picture of you in there in the volleyball section. Your picture is in there for the "nicest smile" with Josh Pence. We also used money that Pappy Rich and Grandma Lu gave us at Christmas last year for you to use how we wanted it for you. We used it to put a full page in the back where the parents of Seniors could put in pictures. The whole thing is beautiful!
I sat and cried looking at all of it. Especially the pages of pictures of Prom, Senior Class Cruise and so on that you missed out on. You missed out on so much just in your Senior year alone!
I still can't believe this is all real. I don't know if that will ever go away. Even now when the phone rings late at night or the dogs start barking around midnight I think that it is going to be you. Just for that split second.....oh how I wish that it would be you calling or coming through the door!
Over the weekend when we were camping there were a few people still up around 2:30 am and Rich was talking about things that happened to you, the hospital nightmare and things that I have read in books. Then the panic alarm on the truck went off! The next afternoon there was a band there playing the song that is on this site from Kris to you and the panic alarm went off again! Then the other night I was on the computer (of course) and Rich was downstairs and heard a door open and close in the hallway. He figured that Shane had got up out of bed (Sierra was staying at Grandma's) so he went back to check. Shane was sound asleep. He went through the whole house looking for someone. I think that you are sending us alot of signs. They are things that we can't explain. Keep sending them baby! It helps to know that you are near.
Sierra has been working on her MySpace and is trying to put a tribute to you on there. It hasn't been working. She could really use your help.
Please stay close! I love and miss you more and more everyday!
Mom
***A note to people writing tributes to Paige. I have been told by several people that they wrote this huge tribute to you and then they lose it when they try to post it. Always copy it when you are finished before you put in the verification code. That way if it doesn't work you will only have to open a new one and paste what you lost.
I'm so sorry i have not had time to get on here in a while. I have had volleyball like every night and omg it gets so tiring! but im sure u know how that feels! i miss u so much i really wish that u were like all your friends and off to college but unfortunatley u cant. but u really should be! well today we went to Joanne fabrics to look for fabric and designs for the sadies, i cant wait! but yet i have no clue who i want to go with lol!actually i think i do know but he is in 8th grade and i dont think that he will want to go with me. i mean he might but it might be wierd if i ask him because i have gym class with him and that would be strange lol! i m not sure why i just told u that but o well! now u know but im sure u already knew! lol. love and miss u so much !
hey lover, I miss you... sorry i have not been able to get to your site but i have been so busy since starting college... I really wish you were here with me to go through all of this.. It really sucks, all i do is work and study and do homework its nothing like highschool.. i wish you were here to have study dates with me... i know we probly woulnt even study we would just gossip and talk about how much we didnt want to do our homework.. Its really hard with you not here, everytime i come to this site i know im going to cry, i go through and read what everyone writes you and i just start to ball.. its so hard.. I still get people that come up to me and tell me how much i look like you.. and the other day when i was walking through the mall some random kid came up to me and asked me why i had a picture of myself on my t-shirt, i kinda just looked at him... i never know what to say really cause it just hurts me and i just more and more about it. I miss all the times we use to have lover, sitting at your house taking picture after picture to put on out myspaces.. we would stay up all night playing on them. i hardly ever get on mine now.. but when i do i look at our pictures everytime. I miss when we would have the boys come over or when we would clean your bedroom so i could stay the night. I miss all the memories with you, you were the only one i never fought with, we are so alike its not even funny. But i really miss you and i think about you everyday, im always wondering what you were thinking when you were in the hospital, if you were even thinking about anything.. it bothers me that i will never know what you wanted to tell everyone before you passed, its just not far, i will never understand why god had to take you and i will never get over it. I think he was so wrong, you were perfect with us. You should be with us now, i hate that i have to call your voice mail just to hear your voice or look at a picture to see you. i want to see you in person i want to huge you i want to talk to you, i want to know how your doing and what your doing and if you like it up in heaven. There is so many questions i would love you to answer and i wish i could just dream about you everyday. I had a dream about you one time and it was one of the best dreams i will ever have. Its was so weird tho... it was like you were really with me, i knew you were gone but you like came down and seen me and i huged you like i could in person and we talked and i cried and the whole im i just kept saying i cant believe your here. It was really crazy and i would love to be able to huge you again. even if it was in just a dream. i want to hear your voice and i want to see your face. but paige i love you and i miss you and i hope your in a perfect world with no regrets, Love you girlfriend..
First I received a phone call for you on Friday from a college and I had to tell them that you passed away and to take you off of their list. I get mail from credit card companies and colleges at least three times a week.
Then tonight we were watching a comedy about leaving home and going off to college. At the end when the girl is waving goodbye to her parents as she is walking into her dorm I totally lost it! It was like I ran into a brick wall. It just really hit me that you would never get the chance to do that. At first I was feeling sad for the parents on the movie and then thought "She is only going to college. Try telling your daughter goodbye forever!" I started seeing your face waving goodbye, like it was you going into the dorm. I have always known since you left us that you wouldn't get to experience college and when all of your friends were leaving for school it really bothered me. Not like tonight though. It was like reality really set in. My baby girl would never get that chance. Along with so many other things in life. You were just getting started!
I miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tributes and Condolences
that was the last time i saw or talked to you. I Miss you so Much and i never will 4get you. You will always be with me no matter what. O i saw Miggie at Bob Evans i yelled for her and she kept lookin around to see who was yellin for her..lol..i gave her a hug and talked for a while. It made me think about how we use to ride the little quad up the drive way 2 go see her..lol..that thing was like baby size. o well we still had fun on it. haha. we always had fun. but i will never forget the time that i stayed when i was like 7 and i wanted to go home bc i couldnt sleep and your mom told me i could never come stay again if i went home..lol.. i remember that day like it was yesterday..lol. I Love you Gurl and miss you so much. See you sometime on the other side baby gurl.
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